"I swear mom, we're just friends." "Well, in about 20 years, you're going to find out your just brother and sister. So you keep that lightsaber to yourself, Luke"

From the Present:

I can’t even being to count how many times I’ve said this in my life. “She’s just a friend.” It seems that since the day I was old enough to shit my pants, I have been on the constant defensive with people accusing that every female in my life is something more than just a friend.

My mom was an expert at this.

I can still hear my mother’s vivid voice, “Are you and (insert every girl I have ever breathed near) aren’t dating?”

My response was always a disgustedly indignant, “No mom, we’re just friends!”

My mom would then follow it up with a prying tone of implication, “Are you SURE you’re just friends!”

“MOM!”

This was a more jagged question than my mom knew. Because for many of the girls who I was JUST FRIENDS!!! with, I would have liked been “more than just friends.” Or at least friends with benifets. Not necessarily sexual benefits. When I was younger, I would have settled for a female-friend-with-the-benefit-of-giving-me-ice-cream.

But in the early days I never really knew how to connect those dots and turning friends into something more. I spent a lot of time waiting for opportunities that never came, because I didn’t realize then that I had to make those oppertunities and face possible rejection if I was ever to get the holy grail of life: acceptance.

Today we visit a journal entry from when I was, nine “fricken” years old. I don’t think that I should have been in serious relationships at the ripe age of being only recently able to wipe myself, but I think todays entry shows a big step in all of our lives. I couldn’t figure out a way to make Jessica my second grade girlfriend, so I decide that that wasn’t what I wanted. I decided I just like her as a friend. As has nearly every guy in the history of love who found his prize just beyond his reach.

From the Past:

March 12th, 1995 – Age 9

Dear Diary,

I haven’t wrote in you for about half a year. Some of the things said earlier in you wasn’t really true now. That was a long time ago. Now I realize that Jessica I like better as a friend. Today we went to the coin show. There was a good Lois and Clark The New Adventures of Superman on tonight. It was great.

From the Present:

So, when I was 9 years old, I really shouldn’t have been saying shit like, “That was a long time ago.” Because let’s face it, it was at most a few years ago. Actually, it was six month ago Luke from the past that you were in love with Jessica. Now you’re just friends?

Sounds like a case of sour grapes to me little Luke:

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