From the Present:

Growing up my pets were my everything. If I had to choose between them and my own life, it would have been a tough decision to decide  between. I might have opted for them living…

Hunter, my Golden Retriever, was my “pet-of-pets.” He and I did everything together. He was my constant companion who slept at the foot of my bed and had my heart.

The books I read all typically involved a relationship between a boy and his dog (Shiloh, Big Red, White Fang, etc).

But though Hunter was often told he was such a “good boy,” he had his “issues”. Hunter had a dark side: hunter liked to shit on the floor.

Whenever I discovered one of Hunter’s “gifts,” my mom was the last person I would tell. I was self-taught at using my mom’s carpet cleaner and would clean up the mess myself. I was under constant threat of losing Hunter, after my mom and siblings made repeated discoveries of the “gifts” he kept leaving in different corners of the house.

After each incident my mom would tell me, “If this happens again, I’m going to give Hunter away and put him in the paper.” I was partly to blame for Hunter’s love of gift giving. I would sometimes forget to let him out, being 12 and absorbed in my own, somewhat eccentric youthful world.

One day, despite my sobbing entreaties, my mom followed through and put an ad in the paper’s pet giveaway section. This was devastating and I needed to do something. I found a rather easy solution to what could have been a crisis. I simply called up the newspaper claiming to be the person who had put the ad in the paper in the first place and had it removed before it hit the press.

Hunter lived to shit another day.

From the Past:

March 17, 1998 – Age 12

Today Hunter pooped in the yard and mom put an ad in the giveaways. But while se was not around I pulled it out. 

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