From the Present: 

A lot was apparently going on April Fools Day 1996.

For one my “special” egg hatched. Growing up my mom would vicariously fulfill the things that she was not allowed to do as a kid through my brothers and me.

Which was awesome.

One of those things was getting and incubator and dozen chicken eggs to hatch.

All of the eggs looked the same and this was a problem to my ten-year-old sense of animal elitism. One of these eggs must surely be superior, I thought.

One of these chicks hatched must become a chick among chicks.

At random, I took one of the eggs and dubbed it, “The Special Egg.” I decorated the egg by drawing dinosaurs on it so that there could be no doubt of this egg’s superiority.

The chick from the special egg would go to the finest chick schools. I envisioned that it would not live outside like all the other non-special soon-to-be-not-special-chickens would go. But this chick would live in my room. I would probably name him Hank and we would be tight.

The special egg was the last egg to hatch, and this made sense as I had already learned from dessert that the best things in life come last. But when the chick finally hatched, the chick did turned out differently. In a weird twist of irony, he turned out to have special needs (could this have been from the chemicals from the permanent marker drawn dinosaurs on the eggshell?). He not only hatched late, he hatched weak. He could barely hold his head up.

“It will probably die” I wrote in my journal entry. And it did. And I had to kill it. My mom made me “put it out of it’s misery” thereby putting my into my own misery. But I guess I probably learned something that day.

The rest of my journal entry from April 1st, 1996 involved me fooling my friends and continuing to obsess about Jessica, which in hindsight still seems really excessive for a ten year old to be obsessing about a girl as much as I apparently was.

I mean, I hadn’t even discovered the “other use” of my penis yet and we all know that once that “other use” is discovered, relationships become incredibly more complicated and far more aerobic.

April 1^st, 1996 – Age 10

From the Past:

Today one of my special eggs hatched! It will probably die. I put it in with the older chicks and it was pecked at and stepped on. I went to the dentist today. And fooled a lot of my friends today. I can’t get (Bunch of crossed out stuff that a year later I went back and scribbled out but using my zoom I make out to be, “I can’t get Jessica’s face out of my head.)

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